Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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