your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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