I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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