don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
