Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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