Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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