best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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