Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
