They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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