I was born with a shot glass in my hand
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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