IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
