I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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