She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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