Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
