I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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