getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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