Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
