he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
