the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Found your dick twin last night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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