News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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