So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
