Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Michael Bay diarrhea
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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