Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we're making bets on your personal life
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
