Joe is yelling at the trees again.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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