did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize