they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
