I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it