I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
