as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
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We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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