i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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