I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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