Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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