your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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