um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
