Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
