i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
