Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
