Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize