I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
