he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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