let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
