There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
