y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
