you win again, gameday.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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