Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
