Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
