i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
