Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
