you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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