I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
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my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
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We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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