and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
