I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
