My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize