So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
