hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
