I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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